


hold me like you'll never let me go

by notthebigspoon



Series: Jet Black Sky Is Painted White Again [11]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hunter Pence: cold as hell and pissed off to boot.<br/>Brandon Belt: sexually conflicted but not letting anyone tell him what to do.</p><p>Title taken from Kiss Me In The Dark by Randy Rogers Band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold me like you'll never let me go

Hunter is cold. They have the air up too high in Sabean's office. He rubs his sweating palms against his jeans, looks out the window again. He's been waiting for a long time. He wonders if this is a sort of punishment. Make him sit and worry what they're going to do to him. He wonders if they've talked to Brandon yet. He wonders how Brandon is handling this. He wishes he knew but Brandon hasn't returned his calls. Maybe he blames Hunter for this.

“Hunter? Doing alright?” Sabean's voice is quiet and pleasant, his face betraying nothing of what he thinks. He settles behind his desk and shuffles papers. Hunter looks back out the window.

“Can we stop placing nice and get to the point? What's going to happen?”

“You've put us in an awkward position. It was one thing with the Victorino incident. I know, that wasn't your fault. Can't be placed on you. But fraternizing with a teammate could create issues. Some of the team might not be comfortable with the situation. Conflict of interest, conflict within the clubhouse. ”

“It hasn't so far.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Couple weeks.”

“The play inconsistencies-”

“Brandon's been struggling all season. You can't put that on me.” Hunter interrupts, finally looking away from the window and meeting Sabean's eyes. “I care about him but that's the truth. We check our private life at the door. He's not my guy at the park. He's my teammate, nothing more.”

“That's the kind of thing I like to hear. But a lot of people aren't going to believe it. There's going to be a lot of talk.”

“I don't care if they talk. Who I date is none of their business.” Hunter snaps. “I don't owe anyone any fucking explanations. People are acting like I did something wrong, committed some sort of crime.”

“Pence, you've been around long enough to know that the show doesn't allow for distractions. It could affect your performance.”

“I already told you, it won't. Teammates. That's all.”

“And your batting? Not always consistent lately.”

Hunter snorts. “Right. I'm struggling and therefore it must have something to do with the fact that I like dick.

“It might when it's a teammate's dick that you like.” Sabean answers flatly.

“Y'know what? I'm done with this conversation. Unless you want to try and punish me for fraternization, in which case, screw you.” Hunter smirks. He's feeling reckless, tired of this and beyond caring. “Do what you want. But I'm not apologizing for this, to anyone, and I'm not breaking it off with Belt. You want to try and fuck with that? Go the fuck ahead. See what happens.”

In reality, Hunter knows that daring Sabean is probably not the way to handle this. But he's tired of this, tired of explaining himself, like he's done something wrong just for wanting to be with someone. He leaves Sabean's office, gives in to the urge to slam the door behind him. He's ridiculously satisfied with the way the pictures rattle on the wall. He passes Brandon in the tunnels and he stops, gesturing helplessly before dropping his hands and shaking his head.

Brandon wasn't ready for something like this, just now starting to figure himself out and still not always okay with it. Hunter had told Sabean he wasn't going to break it off with Brandon but maybe Brandon doesn't feel the same way. Maybe this is all too much. Maybe he's going to change his mind. It's only been a couple weeks but the thought of losing Brandon hurts like hell. He doesn't realize he's stopped breathing until Brandon's hand lands on his cheek. He inhales sharply before closing his eyes and shaking his head.

They don't speak, just look at each other before Brandon is sighing and giving Hunter a light kiss. He strokes Hunter's cheek again before stepping around him and going back the way that Hunter came from, likely for his own turn with Sabean. Honestly, that's the meeting that Hunter is worried about. Brandon isn't weak and isn't stupid but with what they're lording over them about their not always stellar performances, he might be manipulated and pushed into breaking things off. The self doubt is still so strong. He might decide they're right, that he'd have an easier time of it without a 'distraction'.

In the clubhouse, he's met as if it were any other day, for the most part. He gets a few sidelong glances and there's under the breath muttering but he kind of expected that. It's been too easy so far and while the team as a whole has been fairly supportive, he knows not all of them are okay with the situation. Not that he cares. Their ignorance is not his problem. He grabs his iPod and headphones, heading out to the stands to run the stairs. He's not up in the lineup today, he can afford to run himself into exhaustion. He wants to be too tired to think about any of this and how it's only going to get worse.

He doesn't see Brandon again until the game, sitting at the far end of the dugout between Wilson and Lincecum. He meets Hunter's eyes, gives him an uneasy smile before looking away. Hunter doesn't know what to make of it. He sighs and stares at his knees, leaning into a hand that lands on his back. He glances to the side, meets Cain's eyes and gives him a shaky smile. Cain has been amazing to him since Hunter was outed, strong and steady and there whenever Hunter needed him.

“You okay?”

“I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know if he can do this. Cain, what if he changes his mind?”

“It'll suck.” Cain answers. “But he's stronger than you think. You're acting like he can't make up his own mind, like he's going to just roll over and give up because it's getting tough. Let him sort it out for himself. I think you'll be surprised how it turns out. And even if it goes to hell, it's not like you'll be hurting for options. You're not hard on the eyes.”

“Matt Cain, are you hitting on me?” Hunter asks, grinning and elbowing him.

“Only if things don't work out with Belt. Nothing like rebound sex to boost your spirits and all that.” Cain smiles before giving Hunter a one armed hug. "You're gonna be fine, Pence. We've got your backs. You won't go through it alone.

Cain sits with him the rest of the game, the other guys circling by, all of them making it a point to either touch or sit with Hunter, like they're determined to prove that not only are they okay with his sexuality but that they're not afraid he's going to turn into a lustful cockmonster, ravaging everyone in sight. He might have had a talk with Chris Kluwe. Romo offers up sex and a big hug but Theriot smacks him and states that Hunter would never hook up with a pitcher, he actually has a sense of self preservation. They make it all so normal, like any other day. He's still one of them.

Post game is difficult. They talk about the division and what lies ahead but the big issue is Hunter and Brandon, both of them bombarded with questions, increasingly personal, that Hunter consistently answers with a shrug and a no comment. He hears more than one of his teammates say it's no big deal or that it's not their business what Brandon and Hunter do in their spare time. He isn't actively listening in on Brandon's interviews but there's no _not_ hearing him when his voice rises sharply, when asked if their relationship is impacting his performance and if he thinks his 'new found sexuality' is appropriate in a family oriented pastime.

“I _think_ ,” He starts, voice sharp. “I think that I don't go around asking people stupid questions but I'll give it a try. Does your husband affect your ability to shove a microphone in my face and ask invasive questions?”

“... no?” The reporter answers uncertainly. Apparently she hadn't been expecting Brandon to snap back and turn it around on her. 

“I didn't think so. Just like my boyfriend has no impact on the way I throw a ball or swing a bat.” Belt says shortly, glancing at Hunter and smiling faintly.

“... boyfriend?”

“Did I stutter?” Brandon asks, and he's flat out grinning as he grabs his bag and zips it up. “I don't go around kissing on just anyone. I am not that kind of girl.”

Hunter just slaps his hand to his face and shakes his head. He's not sure who this person is. It's not who he expected. He'd honestly anticipated the same scared and angry kid that lashed out at Hunter, just for looking at him in a hotel lobby. And now he's plunging into a bad situation head on, looking it in the eye without fear. Hunter, even while being comfortable and happy with who he is, has never been able to go at things quite like that. He's just not that kind of guy. Maybe with Brandon though, he could be. He decides to take a chance.

He slings his own gear over his shoulder and winds his way over to Brandon's locker. He hesitates before smiling, feeling ridiculously shy when he touches Brandon's arm lightly. Brandon turns to him and beams.

“Hey baby. Ready to go? I was thinking KFC for dinner. Craving fried chicken like mad.”

“Giving up on the paleo already? Good. The rabbit food every time I came over was killing me.” Brandon mutters, squeezing Hunter's shoulder.

Hunter doesn't spare anyone else a second glance, just keeps his head down as they make their way out of the park. It's not until they're in Brandon's truck that he relaxes and finally asks what he's been dying to ask since they left the clubhouse.

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with Brandon Belt?”

“What?”

“That... a couple weeks ago you freaked out because I looked at you at the hotel and now you're telling off reporters and telling them you have a boyfriend. What gives?”

Brandon shrugs, glancing at Hunter as they merge into traffic. “Y'know, Sabean, he tried to imply that maybe we, me and you, together, weren't good for the team. And then all those reporters said the same thing only they were assholes about it. It pissed me off.”

“So what? You got mad and decided you were fine with being unhetero? Just like that?”

“I don't like the idea of people insulting the best thing that ever happened to me.” Brandon says simply and Hunter smiles, reaching out and squeezing Brandon's free hand. Brandon turns his palm up, lacing their fingers together.

“It's gonna be hard. Shit's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.” Hunter warns. Brandon just shrugs, smiles.

“S'okay. You're worth it.”


End file.
